Anywhere but here.

Today

I feel like I would like to be anywhere but here. Anywhere else than where I am at right now. Or at least where I am at figuratively speaking (because literally, I am in my bed and it feels nice and warm in here). Figuratively speaking however, I am in a state a limbo, some sort of in between type of a thing. I have a fear of the unknown.

Lately, people keep telling me that I should be having fun, I should be enjoying my last year of high school. Except all I can seem to think about are failed relationships, staying up late to finish my homework, and not knowing where I am going to end up next year for college. Mostly I spend my time thinking about college, but the other stuff always seems to follow on the long list of things that are always on my mind. Right now, I just wish I could be anywhere but here.

Sometimes I just have to remind myself to take deep breaths and that everything will be okay, things are all going to work out for me. Time heals wounds, homework gets done eventually, and I will come to a decision about where I want to go to college soon enough.

Life has a way of working itself out, I just wish I could speed up the process every once in a while.

I imagine myself somewhere in Europe, maybe at a coffee shop with some friends. I would like to think that I would be having an amazing time traveling with amazing people and making wonderful memories. Maybe that is my dream for now, the thing that gets me through today. That some day, maybe a year or two from now my dream will be a reality and all will be well.

In the end, things aren't so bad here after all. All it takes is a deep breath, a cup of tea, and some Christmas lights to cheer you up. Don't forget to love yourself and love others. Life is a lot better when you have someone to love, so choose wisely(:

When you're feeling down, just remember this, "Your darkest hour lasts only 60 minutes." It really doesn't seem so bad when you think about it like that. That is all for today my friends.

Love,

Madison

p.s. things that help me feel better include: candles, sweatpants, hot tea, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, writing, reading, watching Sex and the City, and taking a hot shower where I let the water stream down on my face like it is washing away all of my worries (all of which I did today)